March On, Ye Dumbstruck Heathens
by Ken Carpenter
An English proverb from the 19th century is responsible for the “March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb” adage. The saying has been spouted in four-season countries every year since then, even if the previous ten years had proved it to be inaccurate half of the time or more.
It sounds good anyway, and March just marches on. Sorry, I guess everybody knew that was coming.
March was named for Mars, the Roman God of war. He was also regarded as a guardian of agriculture and an ancestor of the Roman people through his sons Romulus and Remus. March was well named, for many countries used the month to gear up for either the coming agriculture season or the battle campaigns loved by all.
It seems to me that March would pretty much be an afterthought if it did not contain the first day of spring and St Patrick’s Day. Thursday, March 20, is the first day of spring this year, but do not fool yourself into thinking that the weather will suddenly become kind.
Keep in mind that the best weather forecast is to walk outside and hold your hands up toward the sky. Warm hands mean the sun is shining, wet hands mean it is either raining or snowing, numb fingers mean it is cold and dirty fingers mean the crows are bombing you again.
Go back outside an hour later and it will be different. You always have to expect the unexpected in North Idaho, especially in March. We live here because we love variety.
March is National Irish American Heritage Month, designated by Congress in 1995. If you are not Irish, don’t worry. March is also National Craft, Frozen Food, Nutrition, Peanut, Women’s History, Red Cross and Social Worker’s Month. Whew, that’s a mouthful. Or a monthful, if you wish.
The second week of March is National Bubble Week and National Crochet Week. If you need more, there are 62 designated “Days” in the 31 days of March.
I pasted the list below for trivia buffs, but I have to mention a few highlights. First, I want to warn everybody that today, March 8, is National Be Nasty Day. Watch your butt, or wear your meanest face to scare the truly nasty away from you.
Who does these things anyway? Multiple Personality Day, Panic Day, Dumbstruck Day (if you only knew!), National Goof Off Day (my fave!) and naturally, National “Joe” Day. Gee, I wonder who sponsored that one. Could it have been, ummm, Joe Blow?
Congress does not designate it, and its origin is murky, but every March 27th is National Joe Day. It is described as the chance for all underdogs, the common men and women like us, to call ourselves Joe.
Nothing against Joes, but as a Ken I feel about as common as all get out. If I feel any more common I’ll be down on my knees.
I think I will settle for Dumbstruck Day. That is kind of my normal look anyway.
1 National Pig Day
7 Employee Appreciation Day first Friday in March
7 National Salesperson Day – first Friday in the month
11 Worship of Tools Day – guys, you can relate
13 Ear Muff Day
13 Jewel Day
13 Popcorn Lover’s Day second Thursday
14 National Pi Day– Why today? Because today is 3.14, the value of Pi. 29
15 National Quilting Day – third Saturday of month
17 Submarine Day – the hero sandwich or the boat??
18 Supreme Sacrifice Day 40
19 Poultry Day
20 Proposal Day
25 National Agriculture Day (date varies)
25 Pecan Day
25 Waffle Day 52