A fingernail smorgasboard

by Ken Carpenter

After writing stories for 20 years I have quite often run out of material and been forced to dredge the oceans, some might say the sewers, for material. The following story served its purpose but I managed to avoid the gutter so many might consider it a rare success on my part. Maybe.
Some of you ladies, like my wife, favor fingernails that could disembowel a hippo with little effort. That is one reason I keep most of my wisecracks on paper and keep my trap shut. I can hear snickering out there! OK, I told a small fib.
My trap gets me in hot water all the time. I still haven’t been gutted by a forefinger nail though.
Knock on wood.